In a move that both delights and saddens me, the [MLB CLUB] have signed [POSITION] [RIVERSHARKS PLAYER] today. The deal hasn't quite been finalized, so I'm not supposed to talk about it. Hence, the [EXPLETIVE] redactions.
[RIVERSHARKS PLAYER] has dominated opponents so far in 2012, [LIST OF PLAYER ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN CURRENT SEASON]. So it was really only a matter of time before the scouts took notice. [RIVERSHARKS PLAYER] will be joining the [MINOR LEAGUE AFFILIATE FOR MLB CLUB] later this week.